god bless america


I HATE YOU SO MUCH.
who is the big spoon/little spoon: Marshall is the big spoon, clearly.
what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Uh, play wrestling?
who uses all the hot water in the morning: Ted. No question.
what they order from take out: Mexican gets old, so they usually mix it up and get chinese. Chicken with broccoli, lo mein, chow mein.
what is the most trivial thing they fight over: Who tops and who bottoms.
who does most of the cleaning: They always seem to clean up after each other.
what has a season pass in their DVR: Iron Chef.
who controls the netflix queue: It’s a constant battle. Ted is big on deleting Marshall’s queue.
who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: Marshall.
who leaves their stuff around: Marshall more than Ted.
who remembers to buy the milk: That’s Ted’s job always.
who remembers anniversaries: Marshall remembers the small stuff, Ted takes care of the big ones.

Jenna: HE'S A STALKER?! LIV!
Me: No, Jenna. He stocks the shelves... in the store.
Jenna: Oh shit. I was like Liv, you cannot date a stalker.




